Santa Claus does too exist!

Contrary to the assertion of the scandalous propaganda on the left, Santa Claus does indeed exist. And I can prove it. Start with proposition A:

A. If A is true, then Santa Claus exists.

Now, suppose A were true. Then it would follow that if A is true, then Santa Claus exists, and again since we're supposing A is true, it would follow that Santa Claus exists. So we've shown that if A is true, then Santa Claus exists. But that is proposition A, so we've proven that proposition A is true. So that means that Santa Claus exists! (A remarkable conclusion given my recent post on things that probably don't exist.)

The only trouble is that the reasoning above lets you prove anything (e.g. that penguins rule the universe). It's an example of Curry's paradox, which can't be easily explained away, and is the subject of ongoing research by logicians.

Bah humbug!

Still not convinced? Thomas Aquinas to the rescue! Well, actually, his modern admirers. Aquinas came up with 5 ways of proving the existence of God. Dr. Joseph Magee, a Thomistic scholar, has used similar methods to develop 5 ways of proving the existence of Santa Claus. For example:

The fourth way is taken from the grades which are found in Christmas spirit. Indeed, in this world, among men there are some of more and some of less Christmas spirit. But "more" and "less" is said of diverse things according as they resemble in their diverse ways something which is the "maximum." Therefore there must be something which has the most Christmas spirit, and this we call Santa Claus.

I would question, however, the implicit assumption that it's a man who fits the bill.

Visions of sugarplums

If you think I'm just trying to flatter the jolly old elf so as to garner more loot this Christmas, well ... keep quiet about it, would ya?